Newsgroups: alt.music.alternative From: witness@unixhub.SLAC.Stanford.EDU () Subject: Closeout Sale On Exclamation Points!!!!! Date: Wed, 11 Aug 1993 17:23:11 GMT Has Uncle Bob gone CRAAAZEEEE?!! Well, YES! For a limited time only, Crazy Bob's Punctuation Emporium is having a liquidation sale on EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! That's right, all you a.m.a'ers -- FIFTY (that's 50!!) exclamation points for only $9.95!! (plus shipping and handling ... sorry, no C.O.D.s). EVERYTHING MUST GO!!! Why post subjects like: "New Pavement" when you could have "NEW PAVEMENT!!!!!!" Just look at the difference! You wonder why we ever bothered with periods at all!! Look what else!!!: "Help needed, please" becomes: "!!!!!!! HELP NEEDED PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!" "Nettwerk is now online" becomes: "Nettwerk is now online!!!" "North Carolina locals" becomes: "North Carolina LOCALS!" "Heston tape wanted badly" becomes: "HESTON TAPE WANTED BADLY!!" "Pearl Jam, Nine Inch Nails: working together" becomes: "Pearl Jam, Nine Inch Nails: working together !!!" "New album: Machines of Love and Grace" becomes: "NEW ALBUM: MACHINES OF LOVE AND GRACE !!!" Amazing, isn't it?!?! And it works just THAT EASY!!! Don't miss this grand opportunity!! Don't feel left out by your a.m.a cohorts!! Act now and receive our bonus gift of ALL CAPITAL LETTERS ABSOLUTELY FREE!!! ORDER NOW!!! (except in states and countries where prohibited by law)